VOTE!

When John went Monday, he waited only 20 minutes. Today the line was 45 minutes long. We had trouble finding information on the School Board candidates, but I finally found statements from each, and decided to go with the one who said, "I have four children in the public school system, my wife is the PTA president" rather than the one who is (or was) "School board member, Provo Freedom Academy." I lean pro public education. Isn't it great that you can vote however you like!

You Can Vote However You Like

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

(McCain supporters)
McCain is the man
Fought for us in Vietnam
You know if anyone can
Help our country he can
Taxes droppin low
Dont you know oils gonna flow
Drill it low
I'll show our economy will grow

McCain's the best candidate
With Palin as his running mate
They'll fight for gun rights, pro life,
The conservative right
Our future is bright
Better economy in site
And all the world will feel our military might

(Obama supporters)
But McCain and Bush are real close right
They vote alike and keep it tight
Obama's new, he's younger too
The Middle Class he will help you
He'll bring a change, he's got the brains
McCain and Bush are just the same
You are to blame, Iraq's a shame
Four more years would be insane

Lower your Taxes - you know Obama Won't
PROTECT THE LOWER CLASS - You know McCain won't!
Have enough experience - you know that they don't
STOP GLOBAL WARMING - you know that you won't

I want Obama
FORGET OBAMA
Stick with McCain and you're going to have some drama
We need it
HE'LL BRING IT
He'll be it
YOU'LL SEE IT
We'll do it
GET TO IT
Let's move it
DO IT!

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah

I'm talking big pipe lines, and low gas prices
Below $2.00 that would be nice

But to do it right we gotta start today
Finding renewable ways that are here to stay

I want Obama
FORGET OBAMA,
Stick wit McCain you gone have some drama
MORE WAR IN IRAQ
Iran he will attack
CAN'T BRING OUR TROOPS BACK
We gotta vote Barack!

Obama on the left
McCain on the right
We can talk politics all night
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah

Democratic left
Republican right
November 4th we decide
And you can vote however you like, I said
You can vote however you like, yeah

Happy Birthday Devon!

To our beautiful daughter-in-law, who is cooler than anybody in the family except maybe Pesi, and who makes Dave happy:
P.S. You see here why we are not ever asked to perform on TV.

Rob's Band on TV

Today we went to the KJZZ studios out by the SL airport and were part of the audience for the cooking show "Cooking Delight" with Jennifer Burns. Rob was there with his band. You can see the show in the SL market Saturdays at 4pm and Sundays at 2pm. You also might be able to see it at their website (but probably not until after Saturday).

Skype

One other techie thing--you gotta get Skype. When Betsy was here the other day we downloaded it to my new computer and then tried it out with computers in different rooms. Tonight we talked to Amy in Chicago for a long time using Skype. It was almost hard to talk, the visual aspect was so distracting, as we grinned at each other's chin or collarbone (because the webcams are just above the screen). But it was easy and free! I have it loaded on my ASUS mini so we'll be able to make free video calls from England in the spring. It's way fun.

Blow my Mind

Blogging is such an interesting endeavor. I love the combination of media--written word, photo, video. I love how interactive it is (but people can lurk too, in comfort). I love the immediacy. I remember speculating with J.Lynn on what the world would be like after the turn of the Millenium. Individual jetpacks? Colonies on Mars? Did we ever not guess right. But what is, continues to blow my mind.

Greetings from The Farm

We went down to The Farm today to pick apples, but although there were beautiful ones at the tip of the trees, they were unreachable. Pesi fell off the ladder trying to get them. So (as usual) we benefit from the hard work of others, and came home with a box each of Rome Beauties, Golden Delicious, and Red Delicious. Our garage is full of pumpkins, squash, tomatoes, and now apples, as well as the three lavendar plants I need to find a place for in the garden, and the asparagus starts.

Off the Hook

I unwrapped the Trib this morning and saw this headline--Church: Utah Mormons will no longer aid Prop 8. I had wondered how having Utahns donate money and call voters in California could possibly be anything but a PR disaster, but I also understand how some might see it as the price we pay for righteousness. I hate feeling like my conscience and ethical standards put me on the wrong side of the battle. I don't mind fighting for the right--truly--but I have to believe in what I'm fighting for. I have felt sick that the transcendent issue which causes us to break with The World and go our own way ends up being over something so hurtful and wrong. I'm not the only Mormon to feel this way. I think the damage is done, and it feels to me like it's been over a mess of pottage.

Halloween is Coming Soon

Evidence that vampirism is nothing new to John and me (Feb 1977): (Candy corn makes great fangs for a photo, but you do tend to lose them if you smile too hard.) (Or of course if you eat them.)

No More Dodging the Bullet

When I first heard of Proposition 8, the ballot initiative to rescind the legality of same-sex marriage in the state of California, I felt fortunate that I don't live there. I thought I wouldn't have to face, in any kind of personal way, the Church's reaction and involvement. When I heard of people in LDS wards in Washington and Oregon asked to volunteer time and donate money to the cause, I began to worry.

Last week we got the call in our ward in the Mormon heartland, Utah County. By now I'm not surprised. Instead I'm sad and sick about it. I passed on the sign-up sheet to make phone calls to California (along with information for where to get the talking points and answers to questions and objections people might have). Some of my friends and neighbors talked excitedly about the last days, sifting the chaff from the wheat, and fighting the battles of righteousness. I was heartened, however, to sense a bit of unease, even embarrassment, in others.

My sweet neighbor from across the street--at the time my visiting teacher--said not long ago, "it doesn't seem fair, and it seems like prejudice and discrimination, but the Prophet says it, so it must be right."

Ultimately, that's what it comes down to, for most of my Church brothers and sisters. I could talk about the benefits of chastity, marriage, and monogamy (which I believe in) for gay people as well as straight; I could talk about tolerance and charity and Christ-like love; I could even tell of the phone calls at two a.m., the midnight rush to my office or the homes of my patients, holding the hand of a sobbing young man or young woman, or worse, the hand of a white-faced mother or father in the emergency room while their child is behind the curtain gagging down the charcoal after an overdose.

But what it comes down to is "the Prophet says."

Many years ago during the ERA controversy, I realized that the leaders of the Church were willing to sacrifice individuals for what they perceive as the good of the whole. At that time I also realized there was nothing about me that Church leaders would find particularly valuable--if push came to shove, I could be sacrificed too. And I backed down. It was a womens' issue, I was a woman, if I had to I could live with it. Inequity based on sex had been around for a long time, maybe it would all take longer than I thought, but surely, the changes would come in my lifetime--

It was probably my first suicidal young gay Mormon patient who pushed me past this position of cowardice and accommodation. He said, "Why shouldn't I die? Why, really? I can live closeted and dying inside, or come out and lose everything and everyone I love. I might as well be dead. I have no hope of love and no hope of heaven."

At that moment I realized whose side I was on. Suicide makes me frantic, desperate. Maybe it's a weakness in a therapist. I scan the obituaries daily, morbidly, for faces of former patients, just as I scan the photos accompaning police reports. I look for a long time at the faces of young men and women for whom no cause of death is given, the ones described as "exhausted by the struggle here" or "gone to a better life." Early in my graduate training, two of my former patients killed themselves after their release from the State Hospital. I dream about it sometimes. I keep my cell phone charged and next to me day and night.

The Prophet says. But the call to obedience works only up to a point, and for me the point has been reached. I will not participate in a project that even indirectly, kills my patients. This is a life-and-death matter. I haven't yet decided what I must do, as well as not do, but I have a feeling that my low-profile, camouflage days are over. I feel scared and angry that it has come to this. What was merely irritating and exasperating about the Church's stance on women now violates my conscience and goes against my faith as a follower of Jesus as it applies to my gay and lesbian clients. I don't know what will happen when I go to Church day after tomorrow, or when I teach my Relief Society lesson in a couple of weeks. Silent acquiescence is no longer acceptable.

Understanding the Financial Crisis

Here is the best explanation I've seen so far of the stock market crash, from our friend Elder Dennis Clark (currently in the Ukraine) via the brother-in-law of his daughter Heather.

Another Image for Nicolle

More political porn(TM Atrios) for Nicolle, our resident Obama enthusiast. (You have to be following the campaign pretty closely to recognize the reference, which I realize normal people don't do). I wear Nicolle's buttons on my purse and our front lawn is a veritable forest of campaign signs. There are several other Obama signs in the yards on our street. I kinda got a kick out of this video too:

The Girl Effect

Trying to find the best bang for my buck in terms of helping. Here's the sort of thing I like:

I know the LDS Church does the Perpetual Education Fund and microloans to people in developing countries--both of which seem very good. I like the emphasis on girls here though.

Johnathan Laughs

The kitties were chasing Chris' laser light across the floor. I would have taken a movie of the kitties too, but they ran so hard and so long Hero started wheezing and we thought Claudio was going to have a heart attack, the little fatties. Johnathan's giggles had started to wind down by the time I got my camera out. That boy loves to laugh.

More Garden Harvest

John has been doing the grapes this year, but Chris, Colette, Johnathan, and I got in on the last picking. You can see that the squash, pumpkin, and tomato vines are gone (frozen). Everybody worked hard. Yummy grape juice to drink this winter.

Our Downstairs Neighbor

Santa Grandma Gene, source of ice cream, cookies, crackers, grape jelly, car rides, rescues, emergency diaper-changing (when Chris tends), and love. We love you back.

October Surprise

Actually not--they were predicting five inches of snow. I guess the tomatoes are over (John is relieved), but we're still doing grape juice.

Visit to The Farm

Colette, Johnathan, and I went to the Farm this afternoon while John and Chris did concessions at the BYU game to raise money for THS cross-country trips. Grandpa E hit it off with Johnathan. We hadn't been there long when Cindy and Jody came on their way to SLC for All-State Choir. It was cold and we didn't spend much time outside, but there were cousins to play with and provide horsey rides. Cindy cut Grandma E's hair. Johnathan found a very friendly kitty.

On the Cusp of Fall

My friend Donna and I took the babies to Thanksgiving Point to see the fall gardens. The wind was so cold we had to drive over to WalMart in American Fork to get them something warmer to wear after we bought the tickets. It certainly hadn't seemed that cold in Provo. Johnathan had three layers on and was still cold. He liked riding in the umbrella stroller though. Colette was a little warmer because she was a horsey galloping and whinnying (with her cool pink halter, provided by Donna). The message I took away from the garden this time was -- GRASS.

Great Horned Owl

I came home from work today and saw this owl on the pole just behind our back fence. It was sort as if a samurai warrior in full battle dress had wandered into the yard and sat down on a lawn chair. What do you do? Whisper for everyone in the house to come see, peek out the window at him, and half-hope/half-dread he'll notice you before he wanders away again.

Grandma Blogging

I picked up Johnathan and Colette last night after taking Betsy out to Cafe Rio for her birthday dinner. We'll have them for six days while Rob and Nicolle are in Japan for a jazz festival. We had blueberry waffles for breakfast (the blueberries ended up on the floor). At about 10:30 the kids were fed, changed, and dressed, and I thought it might be safe to have a very fast shower. Nope! We have one gate and two places it's needed--on the stairs (where I had it) and guarding the laundry room so that cats but not kids can get in and out. Wrong decision. This is after I cleaned up the kitty dishes and the babies, but not the floor. So, a bath. Mom and Dad called from San Francisco, and we talked to them on Grandma's cell phone (or Colette talked and Johnathan breathed heavily) while having their bath. Then a much needed rest. Whew!

Les Misbarack

This one's for you, Nicolle! It makes me laugh:

Happy Birthday John

As usual, more interested in lighting the candles than in blowing them out. (And happy birthday to Nicolle and Jamison too.)

I love my job

Last night after a long day of psychotherapy (only six sessions, but seemed long), I thought, "why did I go into this field again?" It was a question I asked myself a lot back in the old days, when it felt like I just didn't know enough, wasn't compassionate enough, wasn't tough enough, wasn't confident enough, didn't have the right personality for, etc. etc. actually helping anybody with the unmanageable problems of their lives. But today I remembered why, again.

I organize a (sort-of) monthly Brown Bag series for psychologists to share insights and interests related to therapy. It is a way for me to get to know my colleagues and facilitate the dissemination of practical information--a professional public service (I inveigle people into presenting for free, at their own place, and sometimes even bringing refreshments). Anyway, today, the presentation by Mark Owens was on exposure and response prevention treatment of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Dr. Owens' client had herself suggested presenting as a sort of counter-phobic activity, and a public service of her own. It was great! There are ways to help people, and they are hard (oh my gosh is therapy hard) but they actually work. That's why I do it. Because it is down and dirty hard fighting with people's demons, and you can succeed. I love it.